Carrying the Burdens of Others

I have been through some dark times in my life; some periods of time when I wanted life to end. I have made huge mistakes that cost me friendships and family relationships. I have beat myself up, put myself down, and thought I was unforgivable and unworthy of love, friends, or that personal relationship with Jesus I heard people talking about. Continue reading “Carrying the Burdens of Others”

Evolving Friendships

I’m at that point in my life where I have been blessed with some pretty incredible people in my life; many of whom I am either no longer in contact with or who I simply don’t see as often as I would like. I don’t know if it is a product of busy lives in a society where social media has become a substitute for personal interaction or if our lives have just gone in different directions. Perhaps it is just me and the older I get the less inclined I feel like going out. So it is that I find myself in between a place of needing my friends and good conversation and wanting to binge-watch some random show. Continue reading “Evolving Friendships”

Pulling Back the Curtain on Generational Racism

We have begun a study on racial reconciliation and repentance. Before you click to close this post, I ask that you stick with me a little longer. You see, I have had to take a closer look at myself and a family legacy of prejudice that I thought had nothing to do with me. I have pulled back the curtain and seen that I do indeed have elements of unintentional and inappropriate thoughts about non-white people because of the era and family in which I was raised. And it saddens me to realize this about myself. Continue reading “Pulling Back the Curtain on Generational Racism”

Walking Alone

One of the more difficult things that we singles deal with is doing things on our own. It isn’t always easy, even for us extroverts. For me, entering a room by myself, especially if I don’t know anyone else, puts me in automatic introvert mode. I scan the room for a familiar face or at least someone else that is standing alone too. It is one of the most stressful things we do: we walk alone.

I guess in part that is why I have developed such a fondness for walking. I don’t need anyone else to walk with me. I also don’t feel as if I stand out because I am walking alone — lots of people are walking all by themselves.

Somehow in the solitude of walking alone, I find peace. It is in these times that I find myself having those spiritual conversations with God about being alone and what my purpose is for this world in which I live. I come home feeling more energized and more purposeful.

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I am reminded that there are blessings to living a single life and if I focus on those then I can find joy. I am able to walk where I want and experience what is there for me to breathe in. I can make my own decisions about where I go and when I go. I can focus on me for a short while instead of focusing on the needs of a partner. I don’t see this as selfish but rather I see it as a healthy way to build the energy to interact with others in that purposeful way I am seeking.

So the next time I feel alone (or lonely) I think I will put on my shoes and take that walk outside my door. I will look at the beauty of the world in which we live and spend some time talking with the one who created it. I think it will bring more balance to those times when I have to walk in the room alone – I can reach back and pull forward the safety and comfort I felt walking with the creator and enter the room knowing I am not ever actually walking alone…